Vanderbilt Faculty & Staff Health and Wellness

​What Do I Say When…? Someone is Grieving Tension and uncomfortable silence fill the air. Your friend or colleague has just told you that a loved one died…and you struggle for something to say…

Dealing with loss, due to whatever circumstance, is difficult. It can be particularly difficult, however, to know how to interact with others who are experiencing a loss. Responses to this type of situation can range from avoidance to becoming overly-involved. The best response is somewhere in the middle.

A job is not who we are but rather what we do. It doesn't speak to your attributes as a person, as a friend, as a partner or as a parent. Nevertheless, the loss of a job feels devastating. It represents livelihood, identity, and life purpose. In today's economic times, the loss may not be the direct result of your actions but rather based on the business or financial position of the employer. There are some important steps to take during a transition.

There is a difference between feeling sad and having depression.  Sadness is a normal response to disappointment, loss, endings, etc.  People who are depressed are sad, but their sadness is present more often than not and can affect social, occupational, and other areas of

Work/Life Connections-EAP coordinates Crisis Intervention Services and Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM) Services for the Vanderbilt community.

The Employee Assistance Program's experienced counselors provide brief and targeted psychological support to help full-time, part-time, and Vanderbilt Temporary Services (VTS) staff and their spouses/same-sex domestic partners to resolve personal or workplace concerns. Learn more.

Written by Ellen Clark, L.C.S.W. The holiday season brings an onslaught of media messages that say that this is "the happiest, most joyful time of the year." Holiday songs convey this message. Magazine covers extol the fun of decorating, cooking, and family gatherings. Consumers are pursued relentlessly to buy, buy, buy, and get that perfect gift. The holiday bar is set high. So why is it that many people find the holidays stressful, lonely, sad, and depressing?

According to the National Institute on Mental Health, more than 22.1 million American adults suffer from depression annually. Of those suffering from depression, more than 80% can be treated successfully. Although depression is common, many people do not receive treatment for their illness because they do not recognize the symptoms which may include:

All of us will grieve at one time or another. Grief is related to love and attachment; it is love under the condition of absence. Grieving is caring about someone who is no longer present. Loss, death and grief are part of the human experience. To grieve is normal; to not grieve is pathological.